Music & Its Invaluable Presence

 

Ah, the wonderful thing that is music!  If you tell me that you don't like music of any kind, I must assume you suffer from some sort of psychosis or are simply not a human being.

MUSIC!

From my earliest years, I've loved music and have been hard pressed to live a day without song.  My siblings got me into Def Leopard when I was about four years old which got my brain into rock at an early age.  But the true passion for music, although I liked it young, was the orchestral magic of John Williams and his unforgettable scores for movies.  From Star Wars & Indiana Jones, I was hooked.  And then, as I grew older, Danny Elfman's scores become my go-to sounds.  My gods, did that create such a creative atmosphere in my brain!  I remember during recess at school, pretending something dramatic would be happening and would randomly just exclaim something loudly so that my schoolmates would take notice, and I'd run at full tilt, pretending I had to go save someone from a great evil or maybe a volcano; it didn't matter because as I ran, the wind may have blotted out most of what I could hear but it would not silence the memory of those musical scores.  I imagined cameras rolling as I did idiotic feats on the jungle gym, the music at a fast tempo - it could have been my own musical creations because I did that almost all the time in lieu of known tracks - and end up scraping my knees or bruising my back.  Kids could be bent, broken, bruised, and nearly destroyed and still get up and finish that day of school and I'd be dead if not for this fact. Ha!

Pretty much any child after facing the jungle gym.

I haven't shared what I'm about to say to many people but, as a child, I rocked myself to sleep.  Back and forth, back and forth, all the while humming my own musical creations and envisioning tales of heroism and daring-dos.  I was always the main hero, the savior, the kid who saves the world but, as kids, didn't we all?  We all maybe wanted that kind of recognition like in "Flight of the Navigator" or "The Explorers"(Jerry Goldsmith was way ahead of his time.  He did "Gremlins" "Star Trek", and so many memorable and beautiful scores).  I remember hating having to sleep anywhere else but home because then I couldn't rock and sing, it was like being denied my own mojo.  It sucked, to put it lightly.  Eventually, as I grew to become older, the humming stopped but the rocking didn't.  It was such a nice lulling way to fall asleep.  Eventually, perhaps around the age of eleven or so(I honestly don't remember), the rocking ceased and I would fall asleep like most normal people, sorta.  I listened to music in this small boombox and had tapes I would have recorded from the radio or bought and I would sleep to it.  Eventually, my nerdiness peaked and I began recording the music from title screens or certain levels of Nintendo games(as an aside, it was nice to see that, in the age of YouTube in the late 2000's, I was not the only one with this weird passion).  VIDEO GAME MUSIC WAS FUCKING BANGIN'! 

I believe this habit allowed me to become creative as fuck, pardon my French.  But it did!  It helped me be able to listen and play music by ear (I still don't know notes or how to read music sheets).  I'm extremely out of practice as evidenced by my purchase of a guitar last year and I'm barely able to play shit. lol 

The important thing here is that music is my creative conduit - I imagine impossible scenarios, impossible worlds, unimaginable creatures, terrifying environments, and everything outside the box.  I have not written or gotten any piece truly published which, in itself is a crime IMO, but I'm learning more and more about myself and, to that end, can manage to figure out a good rhythm.  I'm halfway through a script that I'm writing and I hope to finish soon.  For a bit more context in why I'm not published or why I've not completed many stories: I suffer from anxiety, depression, & ADHD.  These are the ones that I know of, at least.  The biggest villain here is the ADHD because it will never allow me to carry through on almost any aspect of my life.  It is frustrating and causes the depression to flare up which is a clarion call for the anxiety to come bounding down the path straight to me.  It's a vicious cycle that at least some of you reading this will understand. 

Oh, right! MUSIC!  The influence of so many talented musicians is difficult to lay down in any time of coherent writing but it can be done!  What's that?  Oh, hell no, I won't be doing that.  HA!  What, you think I have time for that, here, now? (well, I do but my ADHD is only so forgiving and therefore, yeah, nope, I won't be doing that).

I've already given a few honorable mentions but it won't hurt to give a few more:  Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, Ministry - the unholy triumvirate of Industrial Music of the 90's.  These bands, along with a sprinkling of many, MANY others have influenced me one way or another.  Classic rock such as Golden Earring, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, The Eagles, The Who, Rush, Pink Flloyd, hell, even Ted fucking Nugent!  Joe Walsh, Cat Stevens, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and so many more, my gods.  80's gave me a good introduction of awesome beats and dance music but one of the largest influences was a track that was played in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off".  "Oh Yeah" by Yellow.  I still to this day will jam to that song, it's brilliant and weird and catchy and completely insane but AUTHENTICALLY AWESOME!

Through middle school and high school, I got a taste of indie music especially the underground music scenes where festered and thrived that genre that helped us dance our asses off: Techno!  The genre of the UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ, where repetition was fine as long as the beat was great.  

Heavy metal I found via Metallica, Ministry (although they're considered Industrial metal these days, I guess), Motley Crue, Skid Row, Alice Cooper, Ozzy, and again, so many others. 

Many bands listed here are fucking amazing and if I had the money, I'd be here in a heartbeat.

And, to be fair, I must give credit where credit is due - most of my musical influences and exposure to different forms of music are mostly in part due to what my friends liked.  Without their take on so many different genres, my music taste would have been pretty narrow and not as enriched as it is today. 

The constant through all music that I carry with me is this: if a song does not emit or convey something I can imagine almost immediately, it's probably not something I like.  Genres don't matter, if I can't create a music video or movie in my head from a specific song, it's not my jam.  So, in this, I am exceptionally picky.  This is just how I am built.  

That being said, I don't want to convey that just because I don't like a particular artist or genre, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate them as artists.  I mean, I can't stand growling, baritone screaming - there are a few here and there though, that I absolutely love!  Devin Townsend comes to mind.  I hate that vocal style usually but his is just fucking FIRE to me.  I could listen to him scream forever.  Can I explain why?  Not really.  I could venture a guess and say that his voice carries a value of emotion to it and that I can connect with that emotion even if he's a cold, heartless prick: the music sounds real, the vocals, authentic.   But that's as close to come as to the "why's".   He is also a fucking GOD on guitar, he's just a treat to watch. 

Music is to the betterment of us all.  Regardless of a person's preferences, it stirs our souls and makes us sing either internally or externally.   It reminds us that we are alive and that we are not machines but emotional thinking beings, it moves us and inspires us to do more, be more. 

Music is a reminder, the ultimate reminder that life is beautiful.

I love you.  Have the day you deserve.